Last night was a night that I was looking forward to. I would be meeting people that my husband and his co-workers have been entertaining for business purposes. Of course this time all the wives were invited. As we arrived I began to get very nervous. Lances boss asked me what was wrong because he could see it all over my face. This is so normally NOT like me! He got me a drink to calm my nerves and then I finally saw a friendly face. This other woman and myself began to catch up on things and then it was time for dinner. I sat across from one of the men and his wife who I was told were "good" people. Lets just say that most of these men were not of the most moral high standard. The "good" man and his wife asked the ultimate famous question that seems to be the norm when meeting someone. "WHAT DO YOU DO?" I dread that question now. Of course my reply was, " I stay at home with my son who is 3." I make sure that I no longer use the words "I'M JUST A STAY AT HOME MOM" Of course my words didn't seem to transform their thoughts of me since I was the only woman at the table who JUST STAYED HOME. I felt as if I had to justify myself. I started rambling on and on about where I attended college, how I taught school for 6 years before WE decided for me to stay home. I felt as if I had something to prove b/c I was inadequate. One lady even had the nerve to say so you just stay home with ONE. I then replied, yes but we have 2 children. Then she acted more interested when I said he was 13. Oh, well, my husband is a step too. He and Lance just have more in common. I was puzzled. No ma'am, I'm the step mom. Oh! was her shocking reply. I then realized that she was just trying to make small talk with me and she really didn't care. These women talked about their travels here and there and everywhere!!! They discussed expensive restaurants, designer clothing, who knows who and again traveling to different countries. For the first time I felt like a loser!!! As we traveled back home, (which our neighborhood was also frowned upon) I discussed my feelings with Lance. It seems there are two different ways to look at SAHM:
1. Oh, so what does your husband do so you are able to stay at home. You are able to stay home and raise your children instead of daycare. VERY NICE and BLESSED!
2. Oh, you do nothing but sit on your ass all day and eat bon bons. You don't work or have your own thing. Well, who are you if you don't have a job.
After crying myself to sleep last night in my hubby's arms because I felt so inadequate and lonely and stupid. I woke up this morning realizing that I am not going to let those fake people bother me. What your job is does not say WHO you are. That is WHAT you do! If God wants me to see Rome one day then he will and he won't make me go broke doing it. I am a child of God. A woman who lives every single day loving her husband and son the best way she knows how right now. I am a person that God has called to love on his people and bring the kingdom of heaven to those who are hurting. I am bold, strong, blunt, loving, caring, compassionate, and smart, even though I JUST STAY HOME!
6 comments:
Hey Girl-
Don't you dare let them think you are not an amazing person, mom and wife for staying home-You have the most important-and most demanding-Job in the world!!! They are just jealous that they are such selfish little critters that they can not put themsleves second and thier children first!!!
Rae, I know that is a struggle remember it's not what you do or who you are married to or how much money you make it's who you belong to . You are about the Kings business & it is a very rewarding place. I would much rather be busy for HIm than Dr. Baxley.My favorite years though we were broke & had no $. It's hard to do for family work & spend time w/ Jesus. You must be about the Kings business now. We don't have much time. He said heal the sick,raise the dead cast out demons &make disciples. put all you can in your spirit so you can give Him away. I fully understand where you are. but the important years you will see in the yrs ahead. remember one day when Zane can say he knew you were there not someonelse & besides, keeping lanie has been aministry, Kendra could keep her in Godly enviroment & get loved on all the time. You need to read more about HIs love for you.You are truly His princess besides your name meaning princess. mom
Rae,
I don't know if I told you about this name or not but to make a long story short. I was driving down the road to work & listening to MArtha Munizza's song "welcome' & the LOrd spoke to me & said I have crowned you & I call you my princess. I never saw myself that way before. I'd teach for him encourage others to live for Him but never saw that he loved me so much. I had to pull over on the side of the rd almost I was crying so much.He sees us as his beautiful bride I'll have to tell you the dream I had about getting dressed as a bride. mom
Martin and Gear (2005) state that being a parent is one of the hardest things to do, not only do you have to see to the basic needs of the child, food, hygiene to name a few. But you as the parent is also responsible for laying the foundation of the child's behavioural development, which will form the basis on which the child would build all future developments.
So it is easy to explain to them that you have the hardest job as you have to raise you child to be exactly the opposite of them, a caring well balanced individual. As it seems to me, they may have jobs but it would have to be mindless to fall within their capability.
Keep up the good work!!
When I first started staying home, I felt like that too. Now I knw better.
Those women might get to travel, eat in expensive places, wear designer clothes...but it is nothing compared to what we get. Moms like us get peanut- butter scented kisses, a baby sleeping on our shoulder, hugs from chubby little arms, chubby hand holding, we get someone saying "Mommy you're so pretty" when we look our worst, we get to hear those belly laughs, we get to see first steps, the first day of school...what we get paid is worth way more than any designer bag or shoes. You are doing a great job!
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