Bummed

4 years ago I felt this same pain that exists now. I promised myself that this time would be different but somehow it crept its way back into my heart. Deciding to have another child is a joyful time, but after trying month after month and seeing the same thing appear month after month can be disappointing and then depressing. While we tried for Zane, at first it was fun but then it became a chore. After months I became sad and heartbroken. Finally the day came when I found out I was pregnant. It was exactly 11 months of "job duty." So, this time should be different right? God gave me a beautiful fun loving little man of God how could I want anything else. My heart started yearning for another addition to our family and I told myself and Lance that I would NOT get disappointed or upset if it didn't happen. God gave me One and I should be happy just to have one that he trusted me with. It has been 13 months now that we have been trying to add that other addition and well, God has other plans. Am I upset? YES!! Am I curious why? YES! Am I getting depressed? YES! I am all of those things and heartbroken. I know that God is in charge and is our protector. I know all of these things, but it doesn't make it any less heart felt. In god's timing it will happen. I know! It was this month that has been the hard one. All the other ones were fine. I don't know if it is because I realized that we are over our year mark or if Satan is just trying to get me to doubt God. (PROB MORE OF THE SECOND ONE).

Jesus, I ask to please trust us with another one of your precious children. I know that they are only on loan to us to raise with godly values and love. I pray that you will bless our house with another sweet voice. Zane wants a little sister but we will take what you choose for us. Amen!

New Growth

Well, last Tuesday we finally were able to get that camo cast off. Zane was a little excited but bummed out too. He was getting so much attention from the cast that I think that we didn't make a BIG enough deal about getting it off. Tuesday night we "celebrated" getting the cast off and went for Zane's favorite dessert, donuts. His leg and still tender and he is on restriction from what I call "fun" for about two weeks. The bone has healed perfectly and we could see new growth of bone around the other bone. His little leg is still very tender and I hate that he still can't jump run and play without it being sore. I hope to see my "baby" back to being a "boy" soon!!!

From Baby to Big Boy

Since when do OUR children decide that they are NOT our babies anymore but Big Boys. I can't even say when he is upset, " I'm sorry, Baby." I get corrected immediately! It saddens me to see my Baby get so Big. After months of asking to go to school, we would just blow it off and say, next year you can go. Well, our reasoning was just not good enough for him and then we changed our tactic to Mommy teaches you two days a week. That was acceptable for about a month and now we hear the response of without my mommy but with my friends. How can we not let our social butterfly spread his wings? It is easy, in my eyes he is still my "baby" but to him he is a "Big Boy." After much prayer and emotional detoxing with chocolate we decided to let OUR "baby" go to school one day a week to be a "Big Boy." His first day is Wednesday. I'll let all know how it goes.

Surprisingly I didn't freak

Christmas was filled with so much fun, excitement, and surprises including a trip to the emergency room. We are such good parents that we got our kids a trampoline so they can improve their "motor skills." Well, after opening presents and jumping for hours it was time to do Birthday. We sang and had cake (last year at Zane's party I forgot to sing to my own kid). It was getting dark and they wanted to go jump again so who was I to stop them! Oh, the mother.....then I realized that we forgot to do his Birthday presents. As I called for The Boys to come in Zane came in whimpering very unusual for the kid who has the highest pain tolerance that I know. Lance and I felt so uneasy about it and realized after Zane did not do back flips over his new bike for his birthday than something must be wrong. We gathered up and left our house with a ton of people and headed off to the ER. No doctors offices were open b/c well I guess they take vacations on Christmas! After hours and hours we left with a splint and were told to follow up with a pediatric orthopedic in a week.

Day after Christmas and Zane's birthday.....I hated seeing my "baby" sit around and look at all of his new toys but can't play with them. With a splint I had to carry and hold him constantly. Hard to do when they are potty trained (boy). I decided to defy the ER's instructions and call the ortho. I don't have much faith in ER doctors these days anyway another story). I got in that day and we left with an awesome camo cast that Zane was very proud of!!!