Last night was a night that I was looking forward to. I would be meeting people that my husband and his co-workers have been entertaining for business purposes. Of course this time all the wives were invited. As we arrived I began to get very nervous. Lances boss asked me what was wrong because he could see it all over my face. This is so normally NOT like me! He got me a drink to calm my nerves and then I finally saw a friendly face. This other woman and myself began to catch up on things and then it was time for dinner. I sat across from one of the men and his wife who I was told were "good" people. Lets just say that most of these men were not of the most moral high standard. The "good" man and his wife asked the ultimate famous question that seems to be the norm when meeting someone. "WHAT DO YOU DO?" I dread that question now. Of course my reply was, " I stay at home with my son who is 3." I make sure that I no longer use the words "I'M JUST A STAY AT HOME MOM" Of course my words didn't seem to transform their thoughts of me since I was the only woman at the table who JUST STAYED HOME. I felt as if I had to justify myself. I started rambling on and on about where I attended college, how I taught school for 6 years before WE decided for me to stay home. I felt as if I had something to prove b/c I was inadequate. One lady even had the nerve to say so you just stay home with ONE. I then replied, yes but we have 2 children. Then she acted more interested when I said he was 13. Oh, well, my husband is a step too. He and Lance just have more in common. I was puzzled. No ma'am, I'm the step mom. Oh! was her shocking reply. I then realized that she was just trying to make small talk with me and she really didn't care. These women talked about their travels here and there and everywhere!!! They discussed expensive restaurants, designer clothing, who knows who and again traveling to different countries. For the first time I felt like a loser!!! As we traveled back home, (which our neighborhood was also frowned upon) I discussed my feelings with Lance. It seems there are two different ways to look at SAHM:
1. Oh, so what does your husband do so you are able to stay at home. You are able to stay home and raise your children instead of daycare. VERY NICE and BLESSED!
2. Oh, you do nothing but sit on your ass all day and eat bon bons. You don't work or have your own thing. Well, who are you if you don't have a job.
After crying myself to sleep last night in my hubby's arms because I felt so inadequate and lonely and stupid. I woke up this morning realizing that I am not going to let those fake people bother me. What your job is does not say WHO you are. That is WHAT you do! If God wants me to see Rome one day then he will and he won't make me go broke doing it. I am a child of God. A woman who lives every single day loving her husband and son the best way she knows how right now. I am a person that God has called to love on his people and bring the kingdom of heaven to those who are hurting. I am bold, strong, blunt, loving, caring, compassionate, and smart, even though I JUST STAY HOME!
